News and Commentary

What Does Linda Lingle Really Stand For?

by DoctorG on July 25, 2012

In the last weeks I have seen a flood of visually pleasing commercials on TV, many sponsored by the U,S, Chamber of Commerce, supporting for Linda Lingle (R) for the open seat from Hawaii in the U.S. Senate which is now held by retiring Democrat, Daniel Akaka. These commercials seem to me to be totally fluff, without any firm statements about her plans for action in the U S Senate. I would prefer to hear about her views on concrete issues relevant to service in the U S Senate but I suspect that she would lose if sje really discussed the issues.

Two of my friends know her personally, consider her to be a friend and were disturbed by the passion of my belief that her election to the U.S. Senate would not serve the interests of the people of Hawaii. In addition, she would provide another critical vote in the U.S. Senate against the policies of President Obama and for the policies espoused by Mitch McConnell, Paul Ryan, Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman and the other neo-cons who oppose most things that I believe in, including a woman’s right to control her body. I am writing this blog to inform these friends, as well as others in the Hawaii community, that her campaign is seriously limited in the “real” information conveyed in her publicity.

Ms. Lingle claims she will act in a bi-partisan way if elected, including working with President Obama if he is re-elected. Her performance as Governor of Hawaii does not support this promise. As Governor of Hawaii, her term of office was marked by continued clashes with the legislature and the unions representing state employees. She vetoed an inordinate number of bills, including the civil union law that was passed by a majority of both legislative branches. Lingle’s final job approval rating as Governor was 44 percent, down from 73 percent in 2006. Fifty-one percent of the voters disapproved of her job as Governor by the end of her term.

Other than one small proposal on promoting tourism, what issues does Ms. Lingle think she can work on with President Obama if he is re-elected? Also, are there any issues on which she disagrees with Romney and the probable Republican Party platform?

Lingle self describes as “the only candidate” in the Senate race who has made “tough but necessary” fiscal decisions. I think the voters of Hawaii have a right to know the specifics of fiscal decisions that Lingle is ready to make as a Senator. She says, “I haven’t read Paul Ryan’s bill, but I can tell you as an individual, I don’t spend money I don’t have,” Since she also believes that the more a state taxes, the more it spends, how EXACTLY, is she willing to cut the federal deficit? Social Security, Medicare, SSDI, Medicaid, Food Stamps?. How does she feel about the National Commission on Fiscal Responsibility and Reform (Simpson-Bowles) plan?

Linda Lingle still refuses to criticize her party’s extreme plans to balance the budget on the backs of seniors by gutting Medicare by turning it into a “voucher” program. What Congressman Ryan and others also fail to explain is what insurance company or group of insurance company would be interested in providing primary medical coverage for seniors? That is why Medicare was created and it has been a very cost effective program, in terms of low administration costs. Ms. Lingle’s colleagues such as Michele Bachmann. Paul Ryan and Sarah Palin don’t even believe that Social Security and Medicare are constitutional. If they cannot destroy those programs legislatively, they may try to do it in the courts. Does Linda Lingle agree with them that Social Security and Medicare are unconstitutional?

Ms. Lingle claims to be Pro-Choice on a woman’s reproductive rights but how can that be so for a Republican senator? The Republican party has driven almost all pro choice members out of office. Does she feel like most Republican politicians, that Roe v. Wade was bad law and should be overturned by the Supreme Court? How would she vote on an Obama Supreme Court nominee with views and qualifications similar to Sonia Sotomayor or Elena Kagan? How would she vote on a Romney nominee similar in views to Justices Anton Scalia or Clarence Thomas?

Since she is running for Senate, the people of Hawaii certainly have a right to know the answers to these questions. I hope Ms. Lingle will have the courage and integrity to answer them, rather than just dealing in pleasing images and platitudes.

Gary Schubach, Ed.D.
Kihei, HI

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Ten Secrets to Satisfying Sex for Men

by DoctorG on September 23, 2011

by Ed Fell

Whether single or coupled, or whatever your relationship path is, these tips will almost guarantee more satisfaction in your sex life.
  1. GROW UP To be a master lover, first become a masterful man. Work on yourself and don’t indulge in petty excuses or complaints. Live your life with purpose. If you don’t know what it is, find it, then live it with gusto. Live with integrity. Be a clear communicator. Learn to be vulnerable.
  2. BE ENTERTAINING One of the biggest complaints I hear from partners is that men are boring. Conversations are boring, lives are boring, dates are boring, and sex is boring. One of the keys to becoming interesting is to become interested and passionate about what you do. Get fed up with your own boring life and do something extraordinary. Create a life where you have something interesting to talk about. Nurture your own adventurous spirit both inside and outside the bedroom. Take courses, read great books, travel, do something outrageous that you’ve never done before.
  3. GROW SOME BALLS Get over your need for approval and affirmation from your partner. There are some things as a man you must do for himself. Men are attractive when they are confident; insecurity is destructive to relationships. Be confident in your touch, your words, and your actions.
  4. GET IN SHAPE Take care of your body. Exercise and eat well. This will add years to your life and your love life. It is a fallacy that men can’t be fully sexually active throughout their lifetime. Do you want to have strong erections through your 60s, 70s, 80s, and, yes, your 90s? Forget the Viagra and get to the gym. Your fitness is the most important factor in maintaining your libido and erections.
  5. LEARN Explore how to read your body and your partner’s. Mastering sex is a path of learning to run and exchange energy. This can be learned from good and ethical teachers and coaches. Don’t bother trying to learn from porn movies. They have almost no value when it comes to being a great lover. Tantra and Taoist practices have been around for thousands of years and offer exceptional tools for mastering and harnessing sexual energy. There is help for low libido, erectile dysfunctions, premature or early ejaculation, and more.
  6. PLAY What is about men that takes sex so seriously? Lighten up! Laugh, tickle, play, and make sex and intimacy fun. There is no ceiling to how much joy the body can experience. We limit our pleasure from our own self-imposed beliefs.
  7. BECOME EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT There are more emotions to master other than horniness, anger, and hunger. When your partner asks how you feel, take a moment to find the answer. Discover your rich inner world of feelings and learn to speak of them with emotional intelligence. An open heart is the biggest aphrodisiac. Don’t be embarrassed to seek the help of a coach or therapist.
  8. BE CURIOUS Express authentic desire to know your partner. Be curious about her life without trying to change or fix her. Hold space for his fears, successes, struggles, and even his challenges or criticisms of you. Do this without getting defensive. Remember: listening is twice as important as talking.
  9. PRESENCE Your greatest offering to your partner is presence. Lose the distractions of TV, sports, porn, and other bleeders of energy and really show up at full attention. Presence is a muscle that will get stronger with practice.
  10. APPRECIATION Court your lover, no matter how long you’ve been together. Compliment your partner. Appreciate your life and live with gratitude. Cherish each moment.

The truth about men is that we are more magnificent than we realize. For many of us, greatness lies dormant, waiting to be uncovered. Each of us holds wisdom, presence, authentic power, generosity, consciousness, passion, creativity, vulnerability, big love, and much, much more.

About Ed Fell

Ed Fell, M.S. lives and loves passionately on Maui. He is a psychotherapist and intimacy/sex/love coach for men, women, and couples. Ed is a Certified Leader and Leader Trainer with the Mankind Project International. He’s guided men, women and couples to their masterful selves for decades. His 30 day couples’ make-over takes intimates to inspiring levels of intimacy. E-visit him at LoversCodes.com or his eponymous website.

 

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Phoenix Goddess Temple Raided as Alleged Brothel

by DoctorG on September 21, 2011

By DoctorG

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The Phoenix and Sedona, Arizona, Goddess Temples getting raided as alleged brothels is a very titillating story that I suspect will make big headlines in the mass media and be of high interest to the general population very quickly. As a sexologist and “expert” on prostitution, this story would be interesting enough, but since I have actually met some of the people who were arrested and I have an excellent understanding of what they actually do, it has special interest for me. For many years I have endorsed the book, Women of the Light, The New Sacred Prostitute and the DVD, Magdalene Unveiled:The Ancient & Modern Sacred Prostitute. I believe the women arrested in this story follow the model of “sacred prostitution” portrayed in those works.

Illegal prostitution includes, but is not limited, to street prostitution, escort prostitution, brothel prostitution, strip club prostitution. sensual massage and “tantric” or  “sacred” prostitution, which is what we are talking about in the busts of the Phoenix and Sedona Goddess Temples.  The term sex has been applied fairly broadly and certainly not just limited to intercourse.  As a sexologist and a political scientist. I believe that the activities of the Goddess Temples fall under the current definitions and case law for prostitution, which is generally defined as sex in exchange for money. One of my colleagues made the valid distinction between those sex workers who simply indulge fantasies as opposed to those who use “hand on” work to heal emotional wounds or heal.  The line between the two can be gray but under current law, I believe both would be considers prostitution.

While I would love to see  a new legal precedent from this case, I believe that it is unlikely a First Amend argument will be effective in the current legal climate and with the current Supreme Court . However, many of the people involved in this case really believe in what they are doing and seem to be willing to be martyrs for their cause.  A similar woman in Utah refused my advise to take a plea bargain that would have involved a misdemeanor and no jail time and she is now defending felony charges, just to prove her point and be a test case.

So what do they really do at the various Goddess Temples? I think they view the men as wounded warriors, who struggle with their lives to make money for their families and do their best, however inept, at relationship, with very limited tools or skills in how to please a woman.  I am certain that they also have empathy for the partners of those men who are married and what those women go through to raise a family, many working at the same time, while experiencing too little love and affection and sexual fulfillment.

There is simply not enough love between men and women in the world that is the real tragedy. I know that many of the “sacred prostitutes” really feel strongly about the insanity of it all, as do I.  In a more perfect world, I believe that it would be their desire to provide services to both sexes and many already do that.  They are currently serving women by teaching these men useful sensual skills, including how to honor and pleasure a woman.  Many of the men then use those skills in their personal relationships.

One thing that we know for certain is that prohibition will not work.  There is absolutely no way to stop “the world’s oldest profession.” Street prostitution and on-line escort prostitution are both easily available in Phoenix or Sedona, even today. I would argue that the service the various Goddess Temples provides is far safer for the workers and the public than the other forms of prostitution and should be low on the police priorities and allocation of resources.- Gary Schubach, Ed.D., A.C.S.
———

Gary Schubach, Ed.D., A.C.S. is an internationally-known sex educator, lecturer, writer and group facilitator. A graduate of the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, his landmark doctoral research project in “Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot” greatly advanced the awareness of female sexual issues in the medical and academic communities. He was a speaker at the 1997 International Congress on Prostitution.
He currently leads groups that counsel and train men to more fully honor and please themselves and their partners. Click here for his complete resume. For information or interviews email Dr. Schubach at: DoctorG@DoctorG.com or call him at 415 286-3190. 

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Has Tiger Woods Been Chemically Castrated?

by DoctorG on September 21, 2011

by Gary Schubach, Ed.D., A.C.S.

Many people have been watching the recent news about Tiger Woods, which involves his divorce becoming finalized as well as his erratic play on the golf course. He appears lethargic and although he still make birdies, he is also making bogeys and double bogeys, missing short putts and making serious mental mistakes that we are not used to seeing him do. Of course, you could say that this is the natural course for a man going through a messy, public divorce.

While watching him on TV, I remembered a New York Times article that I read last February. That article says that Woods had just emerged from rehab for “sex addiction,” and suggests that he has been under the personal treatment of Dr. Patrick Carnes, the guru of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.

The article also suggests that Woods may have been administered powerful antidepressant drugs to suppress his sex drive, erections, and orgasms that are similar to those given to pedophiles and sex offenders. There is substantial debate over whether such powerful antidepressants are appropriate for someone like Tiger Woods who is only guilty of irresponsible consensual sex.

I read Carnes’ best seller, Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction (1983), when I was a doctoral student, and his theories about “sex addiction” are pseudo science. Unlike most people, I checked his footnotes and they just do not support his conclusions. He piles one on top of another to build his case for “sex addiction” to be regarded as a pathological disease, like alcoholism. I suppose what is particularly offensive is the misuse of the Twelve Steps of AA.

I grew up in a Twelve Step home. My mother was on the program for over thirty years, until her death. In Twelve Step programs I learned that “compulsive behavior” could manifest itself in many ways, including alcoholism, overeating, drugs, gambling or sex and often someone who stops drinking transfers their addiction from one to another.

Compulsive sexual behavior is no different and individuals participate in it for many reasons. There have been times in my life when I have used sex as an escape from myself and my feelings rather than for pleasure or as a reflection of my love and caring for another human being. Those times were problematical in that to get sex, I sometimes acted compulsively in ways I didn’t feel good about later.

As a graduate student, I administered a version of the Kinsey Sex History to 16 members of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. While that was not enough to be considered a reliable sample, I did note that their sexual activities and frequency did not vary much from the average. What was different was how they felt about what they had done.

Back to Tiger Woods. While I will never condone someone breaking their marital agreements regarding sexual exclusivity. I must point out that adultery has reached almost epidemic levels in this country. Woods, Bill Clinton, Gov. Mark Warner, John Edwards and TV evangelist Ted Haggard are only a small fraction of the prominent men to be “outed” for cheating on their wives. Throughout history many prominent men including some Popes and even JFK, who was not exposed until after his time, have broken their sexual vows and the Schadenfreude in me waits for the day when Patrick Carnes is exposed for marital infidelity.

What this may be more about is the interplay between money, power and sex. It seems sex is always lurking somewhere close by when money and power are present. Perhaps Woods’ greatest error, like those before him, was the arrogance to believe that he wouldn’t get caught. However, the penalty for that error should not be chemical castration.

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The High Cost of Ignorance in Sex Education

September 20, 2011

by Gary Schubach, Ed.D., A.C.S A controversial sex-education class at Northwestern University in Illinois was recently canceled after an explicit after-class demonstration involving a woman and a motorized sex toy took place last February. Professor John Michael Bailey, PhD., has taught psychology at the Illinois University since 1989. Bailey invited a group of four adults […]

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Doctor G’s Comments On the Chat on Female Ejaculation with Tallulah Sulis

September 20, 2011

by Gary Schubach Ed.D.,A.C.S The medical profession is still resistant to the whole  concept of a “g spot” and female ejaculation. As one of the leading experts in the world on the subject of the so-called “G Spot” and Female ejaculation, I take exception by to two statements by Tallulah Sulis in a September 13, 2010, interview […]

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Polyamory and Women’s Orgasms

September 20, 2011

by Deborah Anapol Are Women Naturally Monogamous? Published on May 26, 2010 in Psychology Today Scientists once claimed that female orgasm was unique to humans and explained that its function was to “sustain the long-term pair bond at the heart of the nuclear family” according Psychology Today blogger and author Christopher Ryan. This theory is problematic […]

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The Primitive Psychology of Alfred Kinsey

September 20, 2011

By John D. Perry, Ph D A paper first presented at the 1984 Spring Scientific Meeting of the Maine Psychological Association Bates College – Lewiston, Maine Our topic is “Vaginal Orgasm”.  It is a professional issue for psychologists because for the past 30 years most of us have been telling our patients that there is […]

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Kinsey the Film, Kinsey the Man: Just Another Target of Juicy Media Conflict ©

September 20, 2011

Kinsey the Film, Kinsey the Man: Just Another Target of Juicy Media Conflict © by Marty Klein, Ph.D INTRODUCTION The Bible contains no injunctions against cannibalism. That’s not because Hebrews and early Christians thought it was morally acceptable – it’s because no one was doing it. On the other hand, the Bible contains serious warnings against adultery, […]

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KINSEY REPORTS: WHAT DID THEY MEAN AND HOW ARE THEY RELEVANT TODAY?

September 20, 2011

©1997 By Gary Schubach, Ed.D., A.C.S. INTRODUCTION Most people would find reading Sexual Behavior in the Human Male and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female to be a formidable task in any era. In it, there are over 1,700 pages of material complete with numerous charts, graphs and tables. Understanding the meaning of this material, with today’s knowledge and […]

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